FAIR WARNING: This post is pretty long and detailed - you might want to get a drink and a snack and settle in...
Saturday, January 26th: It was 4 days past my due date and I was very uncomfortable and a little bit discouraged. I remember feeling like it just wasn't going to happen. Looking back on it now, it's funny, but at the time some part of me truly felt that I just wasn't going to have a baby. Sarah, my doula, kept reminding that there was no alternative - the baby would have to come eventually but it just didn't feel that way to me. Jason and I ran some errands and tried to keep busy and not focus on "waiting for labor". That afternoon I had an electro-acupuncture session with Jalashree at Blooma to help stimulate labor. Basically, they place the acupuncture needles in specific places on your body (ankles, lower back, hands, etc.) and attach electrodes to the needles which transmit a low electrical current to stimulate the acupoints. Jalashree started the session with a little backrub and then she put oil on my belly. That was heavenly! Just like my previous acupuncture sessions, the baby responded to the placement of the needles and when the electrical stimulation began, I could feel contractions. Acupuncture is very relaxing and I remember almost falling asleep during the session. I was very ready for labor and wanted it begin more than anything. After the session, the contractions continued for an hour or so but then subsided. However, that night they returned and were quite regular for over two hours. We began timing them and they stopped before we went to bed. I was so disappointed when I woke up the next day.
Sunday, January 27th: 5 days past my due date. Nothing much happened this day - no real contractions or activity down below. To try and stimulate labor, we met my parents at the Mall of America and walked around the entire mall 3 times. We looked at baby clothes but didn't buy anything because we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. That was really irritating to me. I REALLY wanted to buy baby clothes! All that walking just made me tired and hungry. No labor.
Monday, January 28th: 6 days past my due date. I slept in as I was really tired from not sleeping well at night and getting up so often to go to the bathroom. My back and hips ached every morning and it was hard to move for the first half hour or so after getting up. After I got up, I tried to get some work done and wrap up any loose strings before my maternity leave started. I had been working from home the past week and was going to continue doing so until the baby came. Everyone was questioning how I was and whether anything was happening. One of my co-workers wrote that they couldn't wait to meet my baby and I responded with, "I can't wait to meet my baby either - hopefully he or she arrives soon!" I had no idea how soon it would be!! After Jason got home from work that night, we had supper and went downstairs to watch a movie which neither of us can remember!! After the movie was over, we were watching T.V. and we saw an Applebee's commercial which featured a huge, juicy cheeseburger. I looked at Jason and only half seriously told him to go get me one. After talking and laughing about it for a couple of minutes, the commercial came on AGAIN! This time, I really did want the burger but we decided to make it at home. We had everything we needed including fries! So at 10:30 pm, we both ate a cheeseburger and fries. Yummy! Afterward, we jumped down the stairs one at a time because Jason had heard that jumping off a curb can cause labor - we figured stairs would work just as well. We went to bed around midnight.
Tuesday, January 29th: At 1:00 am (after 1 hour of sleep), I woke up during a contraction. It was pretty mild and I figured it was just like before and it would go away. I got up and went to the bathroom and climbed back in bed. For the next hour or so, I didn't really sleep as the contractions continued and intensified. At 2:15 am, I woke Jason up and told him that I thought this was IT - the real thing. I was right. For the next hour and fifteen minutes, I sat on the toilet and had contractions with tons of bloody show. The contractions continued to get stronger and I remember yelling at Jason to bring me a stool that I could hold onto as I had contractions. At 3:30 am, Jason called our doula, Sarah. She wanted to talk to me to get a feel for how far along I was. I was still able to talk through contractions at that point. She suggested that I get into tub suggesting that the warm bath would either help my labor to progress or relax me to the point where it would stop. Jason filled the bathtub for me and I remember the relief that the warm water provided. I labored in the tub until 5:30 am. Between contractions, I was very relaxed and slept here and there. I only remember saying one thing this entire time, which Jason confirmed to be true. My only statement was, "I'm scared." I definitely wasn't panicky or anxious but I think that the fear of not knowing what was coming next or how long it would take or how much more painful it would get was something that I need to express outloud. After that I didn't think about it again. My memories of the labor from this point on are pretty fuzzy but Jason remembers it more clearly so he's helping me fill in the blanks.
At 5:30 am, I felt like I needed a change and wanted to get out of the tub. Jason helped me get out and during this process I had a contraction. This resulted in me getting on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor for a couples of contractions. I tried using a birth ball but it didn't feel right and I wasn't comfortable. I stayed on the bathroom floor for a while longer but I just couldn't get into a groove. By that time, a couple of our bathroom rugs and some of my nice white towels were quite bloody. At the time, I couldn't care less. If you know me, that will speak volumes because I'm a bit of a clean freak! Eventually, I asked Jason to help me into bed. I remember feeling really tired and out of it - looking back on it now, I know that this was the result of labor hormones (so good!) which were helping me get through the contractions. After getting into bed, the contractions and the pain really intensified. I believe that I was going through transition at this point. I can remember becoming much more vocal and pulling on our mattress as hard as I could during the contractions.
Our doula arrived around 6:30 am. She sat beside the bed and stayed with me until 7:30 am. In my memory, this hour only took around 5 minutes. At 7:30, Sarah asked me if I felt like I needed to push. I did and she asked me if I thought we should go to the hospital. I didn't know how to answer her and after another contraction, she indicated that we needed to go to the hospital. She helped me get up and go to the bathroom. Walking was very hard and slow. I remember looking in the mirror and being disgusted with how I looked. I commented that I looked like a monster. She laughed and told me that I looked like a woman in labor. She helped me get dressed and walk downstairs. I forgot to grab shoes, so Sarah ran upstairs and brought 3 pairs downstairs for me to pick from. I wasn't really in a state of mind to make any decisions and I slipped on a pair of flip-flops. It was around zero degrees Fahrenheit outside. Jason had pulled our Volvo station-wagon around to the front of the house and warmed it up. The back seats were folded down and there were blankets and pillows for me to lay on. If any neighbors were looking, I'm sure they would have thought it was a very strange sight. I was wearing capri gauchos, one of Jason's huge sweatshirts and flip-flops. My hair was plastered to my head in a very unattractive manner and I was walking like a duck, crouched over.
In the car, the only position which was remotely comfortable was on my hands and knees. This isn't the most stable position and Sarah needed to help me keep my balance so I didn't tip over. It felt like Jason was driving 100 miles per hour and swerving to hit every bump and pothole on the road. In reality, he was driving the speed limit or slower and making every attempt NOT to drive over bumps. It was very intense for me - this was the worst part of my entire labor. It felt like the ride to the hospital took hours. I know that I didn't open my eyes the entire time. At this point, I was breathing in a hee, hee, hee manner to avoid pushing. I'm pretty sure that Jason and Sarah were worried that the baby might make its appearance in the back of our Volvo.
When we got to the hospital, we went in the Emergency Room door. The security guard at the door asked us why we were there. Ha! I remember this clearly and I couldn't believe that he wasn't able to tell just by looking at me! I was mooing like a cow for goodness sake! Also, my stomach was the size of a beach ball! Sarah very curtly told him we were there for labor and delivery. An ER nurse brought me a wheelchair and I told her that I couldn't sit down - it was too uncomfortable. She told me there was no other option and that she wouldn't let me walk to the Maternity ward. I complied and both Sarah and Jason were much more irritated with her than I was. I was still very out of it. In retrospect, it was a very good thing that she made me sit down. The walk to the Maternity Ward would have taken me an hour - I had three contractions in the wheelchair as she pushed me there. I remember that I didn't really sit down at all. I held myself up with my arms. I think I was scared that I would crush the baby's head.
When we got to the room, I got undressed and put on a hospital gown. They placed a fetal monitor around my stomach which was very uncomfortable. The nurse checked me and confirmed that I was fully dilated and ready to push whenever I felt like it. I wasn't surprised since I had been feeling like I needed to push for over an hour. I also received a Rhogham shot at that time as I was Rh negative. I vaguely remember making a joke about having a big butt since that's where the shot is administered. Again, neither Jason or I can remember the details of my comment but I do remember that everyone in the room laughed. The nurses were concerned about my hydration so Sarah mixed a yummy concoction of Lemonade Vitamin Water and Emergen-C. It was so sweet and cold - I loved it! This whole time, I was leaning on the bed but still standing. We stayed in the room for about 45 minutes while I had contractions and pushed when I felt the need. At that point, my midwife, Jill, had arrived and the birthing tub across the hall had been filled with warm water and was ready for us.
The Birthing Tub: It felt so good to get into the tub! Being in water while you're in labor is fantastic! Jason sat behind me and held me up. Because of this, I was able to lean back on him and sleep between my contractions and pushing. I know that we were in the tub for about 2 hours, because that's what I was told. To me, it felt like a very short period of time. I remember feeling very calm and peaceful while in the tub. Really the only noise in the room was the noise I made during pushing. Otherwise, it was very quiet. Jill and the nurse, Jeanne, monitored me with a handheld monitor every so often. After a while, the baby's heart rate was dropping a bit while I was pushing and they put a monitor around my stomach for more constant monitoring. I don’t remember hearing any noise from the monitoring. It was like I was blocking out anything I didn’t need to hear. I KNEW the baby was fine. I did hear the sweet and supportive things that Jason whispered in my ear. And I did hear the encouragement and support that I received from Sarah, Jill and Jeanne.
About 20 minutes before Eliot was born, it was like I woke up and came out of my fog. I remember it distinctly. It was like a veil was lifted and I had more energy and was completely ready to deliver my baby. When his head started to emerge, Jill and Sarah encouraged me to reach down and touch it. But I was grasping the handles on the sides of the tub so tightly during each contraction that I told them, “I can’t let go!" But I did let go during the next contraction and felt his head. It was soft and wrinkly and hairy. Very shortly thereafter, he was born. I remember that it was a lot harder to push out his shoulders than his head. When he was born, they put him on my chest immediately and he used his arms to push off me and lifted his head so he could look at us. It was the most amazing moment. As I hadn’t had any drugs, he was completely alert and awake and was able to bond with us immediately. After a minute or so, Jill and Sarah asked us if we wanted to know whether he was a boy or a girl. I hadn’t even thought about it. He was my baby and I didn’t care, but it was very cool to find out he was a boy. We stayed in the tub for a couple more minutes and Jason was able to cut the cord. Eliot was awake for the next couple of hours during which time he breastfed, pooped all over Jason twice! and we bonded.
I am so thankful that I decided to deliver naturally. It was the most physically and emotionally difficult thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding thing I've ever done. Seeing him look up at us after he was born was worth every bit of pain I felt. I wouldn't change one thing about the experience and I can't wait to have more babies - in a couple of years, of course!
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